Lies I Have Told

LIES I HAVE TOLD is about failure. This collection of flash-fiction pieces by Curtis Edmonds covers many subjects, such as death, parenting, politics, mid-level corporate isolation and depression, vampires, the unholy fires of Yog-Sototh, and peanut butter. But at its core, almost all of these pieces share the common bond of failure.

And, as anyone who’s ever watched someone slip on a banana peel and fall down can attest, failure can be very, very funny.

Lies I Have Told cover

LIES I HAVE TOLD is a collection of thirty-two short stories by Curtis Edmonds, a frequent contributor to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and other humorous online publications, including Liberty Island Magazine, The Big Jewel, Yankee Pot Roast, and Untoward Magazine, and the North Dakota Law Review. All of these publications have very high standards and accept only the finest material. So, what you’re reading here (with a couple of exceptions) are pieces that, well, have, sort of not met those high standards.

They’re still funny, though!

And the book is TOTALLY just 99 cents on Kindle.

This collection includes very hilarious flash-fiction pieces, such as:

  • Advice To Young Writers
  • A Brief History of the Diet Pepsi Eradication Society
  • Consider The Red Lobster
  • Debating the Real Issues
  • Gordon Ramsay Spends a Week In My Kitchen
  • Kevin Sullivan, Holiday Mediator
  • The National Institute of Precognition Research Reluctantly Rejects a Prospective Fifteen-Year-Old Applicant
  • An Oral History of Our Magazine’s Decision to Print the “Message From the Elder Gods” Advertorial
  • Program Listings for IndirecTV
  • Submission Guidelines for The Coconut Wheel: A Literary Exploration of Candy Crush Saga
  • Welcome to Flavortown!
  • Yankees Broadcaster Michael Kay Would Kindly Like You to Stop Overusing His Home Run Call